#5「ラブレターズ（前編）〜あの日使うはずだったアンケート〜」

Kaeru-tei Ask: Which Finalist Would You Swap Bodies With for a Day?

The episode opens with a segment of pre-recorded comments from King of Cont 2025 finalists. Kaeru-tei — making their third finals appearance in three years — sent members Nakano and Wakura, who posed a question to Long Coat Daddy: which finalist would you choose to swap bodies with for just one day? Wakura answered for herself first: Uehara from Dau 90,000 (ダウ90,000), because he is reliable and she would love to mess with Hasumi from inside Uehara's body.

Long Coat Daddy prefaced their answer by noting that since every finalist is a comedian, daily life would not change much. The health-risk angle drew the biggest laughs: step into someone else's body and you might inherit their stomachache on the spot. Nakajima from Noda, who eats multiple bowls of ramen every day, survives only on mental fortitude — a new occupant might cause an instant rupture. On those grounds, the choice fell on Nanamagari's Hatsuse: his vocal volume is something no ordinary person can experience, and they would enter a shouting contest.

The conversation spun off into Hatsuse's lifestyle, including the revelation that he reportedly only ever topped up his bathwater rather than replacing it entirely. The hosts speculated that the harsh conditions may have toughened his throat, and Long Coat Daddy layered in a childhood memory of completely neglecting a goldfish — no food, no tank cleaning — only to find it still vivid red by fifth or sixth grade. The conclusion: adversity builds strength.

Nanamagari's Return to the Finals After Ten Years

Nanamagari's Hatsuse and Morishita (森下) also sent in a pre-recorded comment. Hatsuse was 30 the last time the duo reached the finals; now he is 40 — their second appearance in ten years, a span in which, as he noted, a sports athlete would already have retired. For the entire decade in between, they fell at the semi-finals every single time, and on announcement day this year Hatsuse had completely given up by the time their name appeared as the tenth and final entry. He laughed it off: they say you go back for something you forgot, but after ten years even hardtack goes stale. Extra perspective came from Dau 90,000's Hasumi, who mentioned he had watched Nanamagari's previous finals broadcast as a 19-year-old university student — underscoring just how long ten years really is.

Long Coat Daddy said it did not feel like ten years since they kept seeing Nanamagari at the semi-finals, but acknowledged that the depth of joy Hatsuse was feeling was on an entirely different level from someone who reaches the finals five times in a row.

"Which Hurt More — A Low Placing or Runner-Up?"

Nanamagari posed a question only Long Coat Daddy — having experienced both extremes — could answer: between a low finishing position (9th, 6th, and so on) and runner-up, which result was more painful?

Their answer: emotions moved most when the placing was near the top. A 7th-place finish barely registered. Runner-up brought more joy than frustration; they felt they had genuinely delivered and were almost surprised to have come that close. On the criticism that not appearing in the second act cost them points, they were matter-of-fact: not coming out was simply the wrong call, and there is nothing more to say about it.

The real lingering regret is about skit selection. They believe using Ryori Choujou Kettei-sen first would have put them in the top three. In the roughly one month between the semi-finals and the finals, constant workshopping kept flipping their read on which of two skits was stronger, until by the end they could no longer tell what was even funny. They also noted that Yoshimoto-affiliated comedians have an advantage because they get far more stage time.

Guest Love Letters: The Unlikely Origin of a Stage Name

The second half of the episode brought in guest duo Love Letters — Tameguchi Yutaro and Tsukamoto Naoki (塚本直樹). Long Coat Daddy's Usagi (兎) immediately admitted he had never known "Tameguchi" was a stage name; even the director was caught off guard.

The backstory: when Tameguchi was the most junior member of his theater troupe, a senior named Sawada-san was already there, and his real surname Sawaguchi was considered too similar. The director casually decided, "You're the youngest — Tameguchi works," assigning him a name that literally means speaking without honorifics. His given name Yutaro was also imposed after the kanji in his original given name overlapped with those of multiple seniors. The troupe later disbanded, but the reassigned identity lived on. Asked whether he likes the name, Tameguchi was blunt: not particularly, given how it came about.

Long Coat Daddy kept pitching alternatives — just go back to your real name, or try Tsurugi no Tsubasa (剣の翼) — but Tameguchi pushed back: changing his name two years after winning KOC makes no sense.

Tameguchi's School Days: The Bullied Kid Strikes Back

Tameguchi explained why he never reverted to his real name: his school years were embarrassing and included being bullied, and taking on a stage name was a way to flip a switch and start over. His King of Cont introduction video carried the tagline "The Bullied Kid Strikes Back" (いじめられっ子の逆襲). The transcript of the episode's first 30 minutes ends as the conversation turns to a story about graffiti written in his graduation album.