深夜#342本編「ジジイとババアが怒られる」

The Listener Email That Used Figure Skaters as Innuendo

The episode opened with the "City Silk" corner — the show's regular segment for reading out erotic-yet-stylish listener mail — featuring a submission from radio name Matchinrobo. The letter described a romantic night with a woman who loves figure skating, encoding every intimate moment using the names of skaters and related figures: Nathan Chen, Michelle Kwan, Midori Ito (rendered as "the Midori who lands a triple axel"), Yukari Nakano, and choreographer Morozov. The piece was structured like a skating program, moving from the short program through to the free skate. As they read it aloud, both hosts agreed: "Kuriljuv is absolutely off-limits" — a nod to consideration for figure skating fans.

Why Figure Skating Gets "Special Treatment"

The mail sparked a broader conversation about figure skating's peculiar cultural status. Both hosts noted a social pressure to treat it as something in the same elevated tier as kabuki or the Takarazuka Revue — something you have to take seriously. They acknowledged that skater Kanako Murakami (村上かな子) has been appearing on variety shows lately, and that post-retirement ice shows routinely sell out.

Morita then shared a personal cautionary tale about fan intensity. While appearing on a Kansai morning program to discuss Yuzuru Hanyu's divorce news, Morita offered the offhand comment that Hanyu "can protect his wife, can't he" — meaning he has the clout to shield her from the press. The result was a storm of online fury accusing him of missing the point entirely. "Yuzuru-sama fans are particularly terrifying in their passion," he said with a wry laugh.

Main Segment: "An Old Man and an Old Woman Get Scolded"

Morita was booked for a golden-hour TV game show recording. Also on the call was Yoshida of the duo Carnation (カーネーション). The cast was split into a veterans team and a rookies team; despite being 19 years into his career, Yoshida was placed on the rookies side — a fact Morita immediately called out as absurd.

Just as Yoshida was about to attempt a game challenge, Morita heckled from the sidelines: "Go for it, old lady (baba)!" Yoshida lost her concentration entirely, spun around to protest — "That person who just said 'baba'!" — and proceeded to bungle the challenge. When Morita's own turn came, Yoshida returned fire: "Get in there, old man (jijii)!" The exchange escalated until "You old hag (kuso-baba)!" was in the air.

The audience was loving it. The staff was not. A crew member went to Yoshida first, then came to Morita: "Please stop with 'baba' — this is a live recording." Because the show airs in the golden hour to a heavily child-heavy audience, the language was considered unacceptable. "Honestly, I had a feeling from mid-recording that it wasn't landing with the staff," Morita admitted. He managed a rushed apology as an elevator door closed on his way out, but sensed clearly that the vibe was "we're not inviting that one back."

As a related aside, the hosts recounted a separate incident in which someone named Ogasawara-san exposed himself during a different recording on the assumption that the footage would never air. A staff cue card appeared immediately: "We are absolutely not broadcasting this, so please stop." Even though there were no female staff on set that day, the conclusion was unanimous: "In this day and age, that's also not okay."

Unreceived Novelty Special: Four Listener Emails in a Row

The final stretch of the episode was dominated by listeners writing in about prizes and novelties that never reached them.

**Strongpero** (a listener of *Kagaya no Kame no Shinjitsu*): Three of their emails were read in the April 26, 2026 broadcast — but only one sticker arrived. They had already verified the one-sticker-per-broadcast rule themselves and proposed that the spare stickers be passed along to other listeners. The show confirmed the policy on air.

**Kurittorittsu Ome Koukou**: This listener had won a sticker from the now-ended show *Pumpkin Potato Fry no Ken*, but the envelope that arrived contained a sticker for *Kukikaidan no Odoriba* — a completely different TBS program. The error appears to be a TBS packing mistake. Two stickers for *Kame no Shinjitsu* will be sent as a replacement.

**8%**: Roughly 21 years ago, during CBC Radio's *Penalty no Gokkun*, host Hide dared Wacky to give the listener some of his body hair. Wacky announced on-air: "I'm pulling some out right now — I'll send it." It never arrived. As fate would have it, Wacky happened to be at TBS that very day for a separate recording. Staff member Shibata-san sprinted to the studio — but Wacky had already left. The show's solution: seal whatever hair can be gathered from a lint roller into an envelope and send that.

**Koyama-san**: This listener has sent dozens of emails to various TBS Radio programs without a single one being adopted, leading them to wonder if their address had been blocked. They submitted this suspicion as a test. The fact that it was read on air proved their mail was getting through; it was simply a matter of material quality. The show asserted that "TBS Radio's selection standards are stricter than other stations."