◆281【本編】5000人の大舞台
On the September 26 broadcast of Shinkuu Jessica no Radio Touchan (真空ジェシカのラジオ父ちゃん), the duo recounted the harrowing experience of opening for 5,000 people at the Hayasaka Eigyo (早坂営業) gala at Pacifico Yokohama — only to hear almost no laughter for five straight minutes. The episode also covers a bizarre facial-recognition hack at a Shimokitazawa venue, a tour mishap in which Fujigei-san missed his stop at Odawara, and a wide-ranging debate about streaming platforms from Niconico to Pococha.
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What this episode answers
What happened when Shinkuu Jessica took the opening slot at the Hayasaka Eigyo gala for 5,000 people at Pacifico Yokohama?
Shinkuu Jessica went on as the opener at the 5,000-person Hayasaka Eigyo gala at Pacifico Yokohama, a slot that normally goes to Moguraider, Kaminari, or Hanako before it ever reaches them; the set died completely, with stretches where none of the 5,000 people laughed and their clap-along bit had to be manually kickstarted by Donton-san, leaving Hayasaka-san silently unimpressed afterward and the mood soured for the acts that followed.
What unusual workaround did everyone use to get through the facial-recognition door at Shimokitazawa Theatre Minerva?
Since the facial-recognition system's storage limit meant only one person could be enrolled, everyone got through the backstage door by holding up a photo of Sakiyama's face on their phone.
What did Fujigei-san do wrong on the Shinkansen during the tour, and how did it come to light?
Fujigei-san rode the Shinkansen straight past his stop in Odawara without realizing it; it came to light when he failed to show at the meeting point and Tomoshige-san called him, asking where he was and confirming he needed to get off, to which Fujigei-san simply replied "He told me" and stayed on the train anyway.
If they had to pick one streaming platform, which one did Gaku say he would choose?
Gaku said he would choose Niconico, though his partner countered that many people find Niconico the most embarrassing platform of all.
What was the setting and atmosphere of the final edition of the Watabe Quiz Tournament?
It was the final edition of the Watabe Quiz Tournament, held across two shows at Theatre Minerva in Shimokitazawa with Yamahara-san also taking part, entered via the improvised facial-recognition workaround using Sakiyama's photo.
Pacifico Yokohama, 5,000 People: "Not a Single Laugh" as Opening Act
The episode's main talking point is the Hayasaka Eigyo (早坂営業) gala held the previous day at Pacifico Yokohama. A large-scale manzai showcase featuring comedians from agencies other than Yoshimoto, this edition drew 5,000 people — the biggest crowd the event has ever seen. Shinkuu Jessica were handed the opening slot.
Normally the Hayasaka Eigyo opener belongs to Moguraider (モグライダー), with Kaminari (カミナリ) next in line when they are absent, and Hanako (はなこ) after that. Shinkuu Jessica sit further down that pecking order — low enough that the slot rarely reaches them. This time it did, and at the worst possible moment. "We'd never pulled it off before, and then Pacifico Yokohama came up," Gaku recalled.
The result: "There were stretches where not one of the 5,000 people laughed." Joke after joke landed in silence, a state the duo compared to being in "Ozwald mode" (オズワルド状態). Anko (安子) had barely delivered a line when she could already tell nothing was connecting. They then launched into a signature bit called the "Nai Mono Nai Mono Nai Mono Game" (ないものないものないものゲーム), which requires audience clapping — but no clap came. Donton-san (ドンテンさん) had to physically prompt the crowd just to get a handclap going. "Five minutes. No mercy," Gaku said. After the show, Hayasaka-san (早坂さん), who had been watching from the wings, said nothing to them at all. "That was the answer," both agreed with a rueful laugh.
The damage rippled down the lineup. Kaname-san (金目さん) and TC3 were left performing in front of an audience whose mood had already curdled. "The question in the wings was: who's going to open the door that Shinkuu Jessica just slammed shut?"
The Saki-yama Key: Facial Recognition at Theatre Minerva
On a separate day the duo performed two shows at Theatre Minerva (シアター・ミネルバー) in Shimokitazawa for the final edition of the Watabe Quiz Tournament (ワタベクイズ大会), with Yamahara-san (山原さん) also taking part. The backstage entrance required facial recognition, but venue director Odagiri-san (オダギリさん) gave them the go-ahead to enter. Because the system's storage limit made it impossible to register everyone, only one face was enrolled: Sakiyama's (先山). The solution that followed was simple and absurd — everyone held up a photo of Sakiyama's face on their phone and scanned in. Every single person got through. "Sakiyama became the key," they said, laughing.
They also noted that the archive of the "Event and City" (イベアンドシティ) show has been extended beyond its original window and is now available to watch until Monday, October 12 (a public holiday). Tickets are on sale via Ticket Pia and Fanion Line for ¥2,500 including tax.
Tour Chaos: Fujigei-san Misses Odawara
Apart from the gala, the duo described a brutally packed schedule — Sapporo travel, overnight stays in Odawara, and general overwork. The comic highlight was what they called the "Odawara missed-stop incident."
Fujigei-san (富士芸さん) was on a Shinkansen heading to Odawara when he simply rode straight past his station. Gaku only realised something was wrong when Fujigei-san failed to show at the meeting point. It was Tomoshige-san (トモシゲさん) who called him. "Where are you right now?" Tomoshige asked. "Huh? What?" came the reply. Tomoshige told him they were in Odawara; Fujigei-san responded, "Wait — does that mean I need to get off?" Tomoshige confirmed it. Two seconds of silence. Then Fujigei-san said, "He told me" — and stayed on the train anyway. The following day, typhoon disruption delayed the Tokyo-based performers, but those who had arrived the night before made it in time.
Streaming Platform Free-for-All: Is Pococha Embarrassing?
News that Kin no Kuni (金の国) was launching a new show on Niconico Live (ニコニコ生放送) kicked off a broader conversation about the streaming landscape. The platforms named — Niconico, YouTube, Instagram Live, TikTok, 17LIVE (17ライブ), Kick, Pococha (ポコチャ), Whowatch (フワッチ), and Twitch — left them feeling that "you have to be on all of them now."
They noted that Kick seems to have become a refuge for streamers who are struggling to build audiences elsewhere. Pococha drew the label "old-man platform" and was called embarrassing — at which point both admitted they had actually hosted a regular MC slot on 17LIVE for a full month and had done a collaboration with Whowatch. "We were already embarrassed," one said, turning the joke on themselves. When pressed on which platform they would choose if forced to pick one, Gaku answered "Niconico" — though his partner countered that plenty of people find Niconico the most embarrassing option of all.
Hito's Collaboration Corner: Vegetable Prison Break
The sponsored corner with eyewear brand Hito's (人's) asked listeners: "Tell us what you know about the prison break at Vegetable Prison." Highlights from the responses included: a carrot that had been shredded too finely and simply vanished; a ¥28 bounty posted for its capture; a kaiwaredaikon (かいわれ大根) caught in a searchlight at night and found to have grown slightly from the stress; a potato mistaken for an iron ball due to its serious demeanor; a rookie guard who was too sweet because he was freshly harvested and let a prisoner go; a pepper that was reported to the authorities 100 times; and an eggplant (なす) that spun endlessly around a downstage position.
Takeaways
- Shinkuu Jessica bombed spectacularly as the opening act for 5,000 people at the Hayasaka Eigyo gala in Pacifico Yokohama, delivering five minutes of near-silence and leaving the entire lineup in a hole.
- The tour was a trove of odd incidents — including the whole crew scanning into Theatre Minerva's facial-recognition door using a single photo of Sakiyama's face, and Fujigei-san riding past his Odawara stop even after being told to get off.
- Faced with a fragmented streaming landscape spanning Niconico, Kick, Pococha, 17LIVE, and Whowatch, the duo admitted they had already done a month-long regular MC slot on 17LIVE and laughed at themselves for calling other platforms embarrassing.
This article is edited from a machine transcript of the first 30 minutes of the episode. It is not an official summary — please listen to the episode itself.