アオイとキクチ。currently outside the Japan top 100
＃２８「［お便り回］旧友と大学１年生
A 36-year-old listener, nearly six months out of a divorce, asks how to approach an old friend she has barely spoken to since graduation and ask for an introduction to someone new. A first-year university student writes in wondering what she should be doing with her age that she will one day be glad she did. Aoi Yu and Kikuchi Akiko answer both letters with candor, personal regret, and one unusually useful phone app.
What this episode answers
Is it rude to ask an estranged old friend to set you up with someone? How should you bring it up?
Rather than leading with the request, reconnect first — send a casual 'How are you?', actually meet up, and then bring up 'So, actually...' in the natural flow of catching up. Kikuchi Akiko was frank that an out-of-the-blue introduction request feels a bit off, while Aoi Yu stressed that the first move matters and a friend who hears the honest situation may spring into action immediately.
How does the roulette app Kikuchi Akiko recommends actually reveal your true feelings?
The moment the needle is about to land, the flash of feeling — 'oh no, what if it's that result?' — surfaces your real answer. Kikuchi tested it on whether to pierce her ears and whether to join Instagram; both times 'don't do it' came up and she felt relief, confirming her true preference.
What does Aoi Yu regret not doing when she was around university age?
English. She regrets brushing off repeated advice from seniors with 'I just love Japan,' and now feels the difference when trying to take her child abroad — parents who speak English can move quickly and spontaneously, while she finds herself weighed down every time.
Why did Kikuchi Akiko describe her younger self as 'a genius at finding reasons not to move'?
She had a deep habit of over-thinking consequences before she even tried anything — she was so attuned to others' judgments that even wearing a camisole triggered anxiety about her arms — and she consistently talked herself out of things; she says her sensibility only fully opened after having a child.
Why was the film 'Throw Away Your Books, Rally in the Streets' quoted in this discussion?
The film begins inside a movie theater yet calls the audience to leave it — a paradox that matches the hosts' shared message that in an era when video and SNS can simulate almost any experience, some things can only be felt by physically being there.
Can You Ask an Estranged Friend to Set You Up?
Salty Pink (ソルティーピンク, 36) spent her student years trying too hard not to be disliked, and by the time she recognised the scale of the values gap with her ex-husband it was time to end the marriage. The divorce is nearly six months behind her. She has settled into the ease of living alone, but she is starting to want a special someone again. Dating apps make her anxious, and her ideal would be a personal introduction through a friend — except she has barely been in touch with anyone from her university days since graduation. She worries that contacting them now, purely to ask a favour, will read as calculating.
Kikuchi Akiko (菊池晃子) was honest: hearing from someone you have lost touch with is always welcome, but if they immediately ask for an introduction it does feel a bit off. Her proposed approach: start with a simple 'Hey, how are you?', actually meet up, and then let the conversation flow naturally toward 'So, actually...' There are parts of your current life that never appear on SNS, she noted, and for a friend, just getting to sit down and talk is already meaningful in itself.
Aoi Yu (葵優) said she is the type who feels glad when people rely on her. Her advice was direct: 'Just say to your friend exactly what you wrote in this letter.' Sharing your honest feelings — that you are moving forward after the divorce but feel a little lonely — gives the friend something real to respond to. 'The first move matters. The moment they hear it, they might suddenly think of someone and spring straight into action.'
The Roulette App That Reveals What You Really Want
For Salty Pink, who also cannot bring herself to try dating apps, Kikuchi introduced her go-to decision-making tool: a roulette app. The app itself is simple — type in your options and press a button — but the real value comes from noticing what you feel the instant the needle is about to stop. That flash of 'oh no, what if it's that one?' tells you your true answer before your rational mind can intervene.
Kikuchi ran the test on a question she had agonised over for years: to pierce her ears or not. When 'don't pierce' came up, she felt relief — and that was her answer. She used it again when deciding whether to join Instagram; 'don't do it' landed, and she thought, 'yep, that tracks.' 'Even if 'do it' came up,' she explained, 'if you don't actually want to, you'll want to spin again. That's where the answer lives.' She invited Salty Pink to spin 'try dating apps / don't try' and pay attention to what surfaces.
Aoi Yu's Regret: Not Learning English
The second letter came from Chiharu (千春), a first-year university student who feels every day is the same loop. Her question: what should someone her age be doing now that she will one day be glad she did?
Aoi Yu attended Nihon University College of Art (日本大学芸術学部演劇学科) but withdrew in her first year, unable to balance the hours-long daily commute with her work commitments. She stands by the career-building she did at the time. But her answer was unequivocal: 'I absolutely should have learned English.' Seniors told her this repeatedly; she brushed it off with 'I just love Japan.' Now she feels the gap when she tries to take her child abroad. Parents who speak English move quickly and spontaneously; she finds herself weighed down every single time.
Kikuchi Akiko's Regret: Moving Your Body, Widening Your World
Kikuchi described her younger self as 'a negative thinker — a genius at finding reasons not to move.' She would talk herself out of wanting things before she even tried, worrying about failure or how she would be perceived. She was so attuned to others' eyes that even wearing a camisole triggered anxiety about whether people would think her arms were too large. 'I lived in a way that kept everything the same,' she said. The shift came only when she had a child — for the first time, she felt her sensibility and values fully open.
Both hosts share one piece of advice: **get your body out the door.** Kikuchi cited the film *Sho wo Suteyo, Machi e Deyo* (書を捨てよ、町へ出よう, *Throw Away Your Books, Rally in the Streets*, dir. Shuji Terayama) — a film that begins inside a movie theater yet calls the audience to leave it. The paradox is exactly the point. In an age when video and SNS can simulate almost any experience, some things can only be felt by physically being there. Step into a community that is 180 degrees different from your own and you might meet someone who hands you an entirely different perspective. Start small — open just one unfamiliar door in your daily routine — and a new draft of air will begin to move through.
Takeaways
- When reaching out to an estranged friend for an introduction, meet up and catch up first, then bring up the request naturally in that flow — don't lead with the ask.
- When undecided, a roulette app can surface your true feelings: your gut reaction the instant the needle lands tells you what you actually want.
- During your university years, get your body out into new communities — it builds your sensibility and saves you from regret later.
This article is edited from a machine transcript of the first 30 minutes of the episode. It is not an official summary — please listen to the episode itself.