kemioの言わせて言うだけEverything · Society & Culture
#141 最近の恋愛事情を赤裸々に喋っちゃった
New York-based kemio opens up about dating five men from around the world at the same time over three weeks, a streak triggered by blunt advice from a Tokyo fortune teller. The centerpiece is a reunion with a Spanish man he has known for ten years, who told him "you have some kind of magic." The episode also covers the theft of a rare Andy Warhol photo book from his building's package room, plus listener questions on managing anger and the loneliness of growing up abroad.
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What this episode answers
What advice sparked kemio's streak of dating five men simultaneously over three weeks?
A fortune teller in Tokyo told him to "go crazier, have more fun" and pointed out that he approaches meeting people like an audition, scanning for negatives from the start. This coincided with the end of Fashion Week, when men from Spain, Berlin, Czech Republic, New York, and LA all reached out at once, so kemio decided to meet every one of them.
What happened when kemio reunited with the Spanish man he had known for ten years?
They met for tea for the first time in three years, and after parting the man sent a message saying "Even after ten years I still find myself feeling something for you — that's your magic." The man also invited kemio to travel together for a few days, and kemio said yes on the spot.
What was the Andy Warhol photo book theft incident?
kemio received a delivery notification for an expensive vintage Andy Warhol photo book he had ordered, but when he went to the building's shared package room the box had been pried open and only the book was gone. He sent a long email CC'ing six building management companies and received no reply from any of them.
What does kemio prescribe for people who lash out in anger?
kemio says the cycle of emotional outbursts will keep repeating until you trace your anger back to its root cause; he recommends making time alone to write feelings down or mentally dig into the source, and notes that therapy is also effective. This skill is never taught in school, so he urges people to start developing it as early as possible.
How does kemio relate to the feeling of being left out that people who grew up abroad experience after moving to Japan?
kemio immediately empathized, saying he feels the same loneliness in New York every single day. He recommends dropping the embarrassment when an unfamiliar topic comes up and simply asking "What's that? Tell me more!" — because growing up in a different environment is just a fact, not something to be ashamed of.
An Andy Warhol Photo Book and a Stolen Package
Earlier this year kemio lost a Gucci fashion show invitation that went missing from his mailbox. Now it has happened again. He ordered a rare, expensive vintage Andy Warhol photo book, and when a delivery notification arrived over the weekend he headed to the building's shared package room — only to find the cardboard box pried open and the book gone. Glitter pom-poms were scattered across the floor, suggesting whoever broke in had rifled through other deliveries too. kemio fired off a long email CC'ing six building management companies. Not one replied. "You probably don't even know what it's worth and threw it in a dumpster somewhere," he said, then turned his fury on the management staff: "How did you even pass a job interview?"
A Fortune Teller's Advice Sparks a Whirlwind Dating Streak
During a stay in Tokyo, a friend introduced kemio to a fortune teller who delivered two sharp observations: "Go crazier, have more fun," and "When you meet someone, you treat it like an audition — you're already scanning for negatives the moment you walk in." kemio hadn't thought of himself as passive in romance, but hearing the words out loud, they clicked into place.
Back in New York, the timing aligned with the end of Fashion Week. Five men — from Spain, Berlin, Czech Republic, New York, and LA — all reached out within roughly the same window. "I'd been away from New York for a month, so I figured I'd just go meet all of them," kemio decided, fitting each person into his schedule alongside work.
A Ten-Year Reunion: "You Have Some Kind of Magic"
The most memorable of the five was a Spanish man (older) kemio first met at age 22 while living in London. They never officially dated — over the past decade they drifted in and out of each other's lives, occasionally crossing paths in Paris or elsewhere for tea, nothing more. The man had a boyfriend for a period and they grew distant. This time the man reached out first: "I'm in New York — want to get tea?" They met for the first time in three years.
"Seeing someone again after ten years, you notice things differently," kemio said. At the end of the evening the man invited him to travel together for a few days, and kemio said yes on the spot. A message followed: "How do you do it — what's your magic? Even after ten years I find myself feeling something for you." kemio laughed it off with "I'm here to change everybody's world," then immediately panicked, realizing that if the YouTube version of the episode is run through a translation feature, the man might see the whole story.
On one of the dates, kemio was approached by three Japanese female fans wearing "I LOVE NEW YORK" T-shirts. Since he hadn't mentioned his profession to his date, the moment turned awkward. He later explained the situation on his Instagram Stories and thanked the women for saying hello.
There Is No Rulebook for Gay Romance
kemio reflects that gay relationships come without the social role models heterosexual relationships have. Television and film growing up showed only straight romance. After coming out when he moved to LA, he met person after person and gradually built his own rulebook through trial and error, figuring out what worked for him as he went. "Even in my thirties there is still so much ahead," he said, closing the section on an upbeat note.
Listener Q&A: Anger and Loneliness
**On managing anger (listener Anriko, age 20):** kemio's analysis is that anger is an explosive emotion that demands immediate release, which is why people direct it outward before they have had a chance to look inward. The cycle of blowing up will keep repeating, he says, until you track down the root cause. His advice: carve out time alone, write your feelings down, or mentally trace the anger back to its source. Therapy is another effective option. Because this kind of emotional skill is never taught in school, the earlier you start building it the better.
**On the loneliness of growing up abroad (listener Roshito Girl):** A listener who spent her childhood overseas and later moved to Japan described feeling left out whenever conversation turned to nostalgic Japanese TV shows or music she had never encountered. kemio's response was immediate: "I feel that in New York every single day." He admitted making deliberate efforts to learn local songs and cultural references and said he still has those moments. His advice: when a topic comes up that you missed, don't be embarrassed — just say "What's that? Tell me about it!" The fact that you were raised somewhere different is simply reality, and there is nothing to be ashamed of in not knowing.
Takeaways
- After a Tokyo fortune teller called out his "audition mindset" in dating, kemio broke the pattern by meeting all five men who contacted him during Fashion Week — an unprecedented three-week run of simultaneous dates.
- The Spanish man kemio has known for a decade sent him a message saying "Even after ten years I still feel something for you — that's your magic."
- With no social rulebook for gay romance, kemio says the only path is meeting people, feeling things out, and building your own rules as you go.
This article is edited from a machine transcript of the first 30 minutes of the episode. It is not an official summary — please listen to the episode itself.