#133【地上波#105】意味わからへん(THE SECOND)

THE SECOND 2026: Victory Over Super Maradona, Rough Jigen Clash Set for April 18

In the knockout stage of The Second Manzai Tournament 2026—a competition open only to manzai acts with sixteen or more years of experience—Kinzoku Bat beat Super Maradona. Their next opponent is Rough Jigen (ラフ次元), who holds a regular Wednesday slot on ABC Radio, and the Grand Prix Final qualifier is scheduled for April 18. The two reflected on the awkward dynamic: they had previously co-hosted a live show called 'Nora' with Rough Jigen, leading them to describe the upcoming match as 'too close for comfort—we're tearing each other apart.'

They also touched on other results: Chonmage to Shampuu (ちょんまげとシャンプー) won in Tokyo (reportedly their first-ever tournament victory), Hurrican-san showed strong form, and Patapata Mama (パタパタママ) also advanced. Meanwhile, it was revealed that Kobayashi had barely watched any other acts' matches—about one minute of LLR and two minutes of Rough Jigen before slipping out—earning him the label 'a truly filthy man.'

News Corner 1: Doctor-Impersonation Penis-Enlargement Scam, 120 Million Yen Defrauded from Five Victims

Osaka Prefectural Police arrested a Chinese man and woman who posed as a doctor on social media, sending messages such as 'The drug I sell is guaranteed to make your penis bigger,' and defrauding five people of a combined approximately 120 million yen. A single man in his sixties lost roughly 45 million yen. The suspects claim they had no awareness of committing fraud.

The duo criticized the scheme as 'preying on the dreams of grandfathers in their sixties who still wish their penis were bigger,' while getting thoroughly entertained riffing on the advertising pitch of 'surgery-free enlargement.'

News Corners 2 & 3: 15 Car-Destruction Incidents in Hiroshima, Egashira 2:50 Tops YouTuber Ranking

Fifteen vehicle-destruction incidents were reported across Hiroshima Prefecture between March 13 and 24, with fifteen cases concentrated in Kure City between March 22 and 24. The two compared it to 'the bonus stage in Street Fighter' and wondered if the area had gone 'full Mad Max,' adding that their mental image of Hiroshima is Edion Hiroshima Stadium, the A-Bomb Dome, and Miyajima.

An Oricon YouTuber ranking targeting viewers in their teens through fifties placed Egashira 2:50 at number one. The full top ten: 10th Hikakin, 9th Kimura Takuya, 8th Quiz Knock (クイズノック), 7th Kametachi (カメタチ), 6th Kiyo (キヨ), 5th Saraba Seishun no Hikari, 4th Yonino Channel, 3rd Sakuma Nobuyuki, 2nd Ryuji (リュウジ), 1st Egashira 2:50. The pair were visibly surprised that KimuTaku had a YouTube channel and noted 'Egashira-san is a powerhouse.' The Kinzoku Bat-related channels did not make the ranking.

Tomoya Suffers Watery-Diarrhea Accident During Pre-Show Tokyo Walk, Keeps Going for Four Hours

The day before The Second, Tomoya performed at Lumine then stayed overnight in Gotanda. After checking out at noon and finding himself with four hours until call time, he walked along the river from Gotanda to Ooimachi, ate Indian curry, and had a cigarette. Stepping out of the smoking area and walking on, he noticed his backside was wet—a watery-diarrhea accident had already occurred with, as he put it, 'absolutely no warning.'

Rather than cutting the outing short, he changed into the previous day's used underwear and proceeded to walk across Rainbow Bridge on foot, continuing all the way to the beach at Odaiba—roughly 30,000 steps and more than four hours in total. He joked that he was like 'a feudal-era express courier (飛脚).' Once he reached the venue, a friend told him the opening moments of their set had been 'the harshest—ground zero'—which was when he finally became aware of the smell.

Confession Corner: Apartment Stairwell Defecation and an Aborted Doorbell Prank at Nishikawa Kiyoshi's Mansion

Under the banner 'End-of-Fiscal-Year Confession Time,' two listener messages were read.

The first came from 'Akawain' (赤ワイン), a delivery worker in Osaka. During a delivery to a floor above the tenth, they were struck by sudden severe stomach pain and, judging the coast to be clear, defecated on the shared stairwell. The message ended: 'It was a rainy day, so I'm hoping it washed away.' Tomoya, fresh off his own experience, sympathized: 'Deliveries are grueling.'

The second came from 'Kayobū' (かよぶー) in Osaka. While visiting Mino with a friend for autumn foliage, they learned that comedian Nishikawa Kiyoshi's (西川きよし) mansion was nearby and, on a whim, pressed the intercom. An elderly woman answered immediately; panicking, the listener blurted out 'Do you believe in God?' The woman responded graciously: 'I'm afraid I'm about to head out and won't be able to hear you out—I'm sorry.' The duo mused, 'What a kind person—could be Helen-san (ヘレンさん),' referring to Nishikawa's wife.