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#131【地上波#103】近すぎる THE SECOND
The knockout-stage bracket for THE SECOND 2026 has been drawn, and Kinzoku Bat will open against Super Maradona — a duo they share a stage with so often that both members called the draw 'way too close to home.' The pair also break down every block in the draw before turning to two news items: a pipe that blasted 10 meters into the air at an Umeda construction site, and 78-year-old Arnold Schwarzenegger confirming he has received the Commando 2 script.
What this episode answers
Who is Kinzoku Bat's first-round opponent in THE SECOND, and what is their relationship with that duo?
Their opponent is Super Maradona — a duo they cross paths with so frequently at venues like Gion Kagetsu and NGK night shows that both members said in unison 'they're way too close.' The knockout stage is scheduled for March 28–29.
How well-known do the two think THE SECOND is with the general public?
They flatly declared that 'nobody in the general public is watching,' noting that street recognition comes from their cigarette YouTube videos, not THE SECOND. Because it's a paid stream, young audiences simply won't pay, so general awareness is extremely low.
Which matchup in the full bracket are the two most excited about?
They singled out 'Shampoo Hat vs. Chonmage' as the marquee clash, saying 'whoever wins, it'll be a huge moment.' G Block — with 'Sanbyo vs. Machinegun' and 'Kokozu vs. Rinia' — got a wry laugh: the lineup felt 'too East' and looked like a Fuji TV special.
What happened at the Umeda construction site, and how did it affect the surrounding area?
A buried pipe ruptured under water pressure and shot roughly 10 meters above ground; as of March 13 about 2 meters were still protruding after firefighters responded. The Kobe Line was suspended and even the local back-street shortcuts were completely jammed.
How did the Commando sequel come about for Schwarzenegger?
Schwarzenegger announced it himself at the Arnold Sports Festival in Ohio: 20th Century Studios told him they were ready to do Predator again and had also prepared a Commando 2 script, which has since arrived in his hands.
THE SECOND 2026: First-Round Opponent Is Super Maradona
The knockout-stage bracket for THE SECOND 2026 — the competition open to manzai duos with 16 or more years together — has been drawn, locking in all 32 first-round matchups. Kinzoku Bat (金属バット) will face Super Maradona (スーパーマラドーナ) right out of the gate. The two acts share stages so often — at Gion Kagetsu (祇園花月), NGK night shows, and elsewhere — that both Kinzoku Bat members said in unison: "They're way too close." The bracket also includes a twins-versus-twins bout in "Doctor Hairich vs. Yoshida-tachi" and a grudge match between F1 losers'-revival alumni in "Cloby vs. Kaname Stone." The knockout stage is set for March 28–29.
The Duo Grades Every Block
G Block drew a chuckle: with lineups like "Sanbyo vs. Machinegun" and "Kokozu vs. Rinia," the field skewed so heavily toward East Japan veterans that the pair joked, "Is this a Fuji TV special?" and "Way too East." H Block puts two Eastern acts — Hanjiro and Igosho — on a collision course, alongside "Totto vs. Blue River." Blue River remains something of a mystery: their most recent material video dates back three years, yet word has it that one member "nearly died once" and that the duo is "not to be underestimated — they're the kings of Kyushu." The pair noted that so-called zombie acts, duos who went dormant and came back, tend to punch well above their weight.
They flagged "Young vs. Tanaike" as carrying "the quiet, understated dignity of a motive," and singled out "Shampoo Hat vs. Chonmage" as the marquee clash: "Whoever wins, it's going to be a massive moment." The Shampoo Hat matchup prompted a tangent: Kim (Kobayashi, one half of Kinzoku Bat) would probably conjure some petty grievance — "claiming there's a Kansai favoritism quota or some charity-act slot or some other weird angle. That's Kim's style," they said, barely suppressing a grin.
With LLR and Rough Jigen landing in the same block, the hypothetical arose: if both make it through and meet each other, which side does ABC Radio take? "We go with whoever wins. Then have the loser's radio show book the other guy — and wire our cut straight to us," they laughed.
THE SECOND Is Only Watched by Comedians
The pair are blunt: "Nobody in the real world is watching." On the street, the conversations that stop them are about their cigarette YouTube videos, never THE SECOND — which means even the material they performed in the final is still fresh enough to kill at their regular theater shows, because ordinary audiences simply haven't seen it. Because it's a paid stream, no one expects young fans to open their wallets: "There is zero chance a teenage girl is spending over a thousand yen on Seruspa vs. Smile-san." That said, they conceded that G Block specifically might draw paying die-hards from the old-guard fan base.
News #1: Massive Pipe Shoots 10 Meters Into the Air in Umeda
As of the listener mail date of March 13, a pipe buried at an Umeda construction site ruptured under water pressure and was blasted roughly 10 meters above ground. Firefighters responded, but about 2 meters of pipe remained sticking up afterward. The Kobe Line was suspended, and traffic was so snarled that even the back-street shortcuts the locals know were completely gridlocked. The duo found it genuinely baffling that in an era when everyone films everything, apparently nobody caught the actual moment of the eruption on video.
News #2: Schwarzenegger's Commando Sequel Is in Motion
At 78, Arnold Schwarzenegger broke the news himself at the Arnold Sports Festival in Ohio: 20th Century Studios told him they were gearing up to revisit Predator and had also prepared a script for Commando 2, which has since landed in his hands. The pair, who described themselves as having seen the original "about a thousand times," are fully on board — but they voiced genuine concern about whether a 78-year-old can credibly storm an enemy island solo, and whether his body can withstand the brutal action sequences the film demands. They gleefully recalled the scene where a car seat is ripped off to give chase, and the iconic line, "I told you I'd kill you last — I lied," signing off with high hopes for the sequel.
Takeaways
- Kinzoku Bat's first-round opponent in THE SECOND 2026 knockout stage is Super Maradona, a duo they cross paths with so constantly at Gion Kagetsu and NGK that the draw felt almost absurdly close to home.
- The duo argues THE SECOND registers almost nothing with the general public — sustained mainly by core fans willing to pay for the stream — while street recognition comes entirely from their cigarette YouTube videos, not their manzai.
- In the news, a water-pressure pipe explosion shot 10 meters into the air at an Umeda construction site and paralyzed surrounding traffic, while 78-year-old Schwarzenegger confirmed he has received a Commando 2 script from 20th Century Studios.
This article is edited from a machine transcript of the first 30 minutes of the episode. It is not an official summary — please listen to the episode itself.