◆283【本編】どうやって決勝いってんだよ

Event Archive Announcement and M-1 Nomination Update

The episode opens with two listener-submitted comedy hooks. JINS representative Jinzu-san was present for the recording, and whenever Gaku made a borderline remark, both hosts rushed to walk it back together.

Archive tickets for their live event are on sale at ¥3,800 until Sports Day, October 12—no further extensions. Sales are, by their own admission, close to zero. "The remaining count isn't going down at all," they said, noting that with co-performer Miyako-san's appearance fee still to cover they are running a heavy deficit. Rather than their fellow performers bringing fans to the show, "we might be the ones getting taken over to theirs," they grumbled.

On M-1 Grand Prix: they confirmed they are already nominated for the second round, which kicks off October 14. "We might be the only ones nominated," Gaku said with a hint of confidence.

The "How Are You Even Reaching the Finals?" Problem and the Total Laughs Theory

The second-round venue is Asakusa Gorogoro Kaikan (浅草ゴロゴロ会館); the third round is Kanda Square Hall (神田スクエアホール). Shinku Jessica has never once had a set land well at either venue. The only stage where their material clicked was Lumine—back when they were still being eliminated in the quarterfinals. After their regular venue bookings dried up, they paradoxically started making the finals. "How are we even getting there? We genuinely have never killed it at those places," they said, trading bewildered retorts at each other.

To explain this, the duo put forward the "Total Laughs Theory" (受けの総量説): every comedian has a finite total amount of laughs they can receive across the whole M-1 tournament. Burn through the budget in the first, second, and quarterfinal rounds, and you run dry before reaching the finals. Because Shinku Jessica has largely bypassed those early stages, their laugh reserve remains intact for the semifinals and final. "Not killing it might actually be a crucial strategy," they said—and they were at least half-serious.

JINS-Sponsored Ōgiri: "The Lie Power Plant"

The regular JINS-sponsored ōgiri corner gives everyone whose entry is read a JINS-collaboration lens cloth, with one winner per week taking home the "Omega-ne Prize"—a ¥3,000 Amazon gift card.

This week's theme: "An episode from your school field trip to the Lie Power Plant—a facility that converts lies into energy." A running gag developed as the hosts repeatedly tried, and failed, to deliver the required narration in the correct tone before moving on to the entries:

- A father who lied about taking his family to Disneyland was hauled into the plant as a precious resource. (Listener: Shanagi) - The tour guide lied continuously—"this plant has not been operating since 2005," "this tank does not store lies"—generating power with every statement. (Listener: Keitai Taisetsu) - When asked what the electricity is used for, the answer was simply: "Mainly pizza." (Listener: Sōre Totte) - A guide explained that "water beats fire, fire beats wind, and wind and water are just sort of neutral with each other," prompting the question "so does that make wind power the weakest?"—whereupon the guide began sweating, muttered "wait, something seems off," and had his glasses slide down his nose. (Listener: Ohana-chan)

The Omega-ne Prize went to Sōre Totte for "mainly pizza." Both hosts agreed: "the content of the lie is just too weird." Next week's theme: "The sister working at the crepe stand looks angry. How could you tell?"

During the segment, Gaku was wearing new glasses provided by JINS—lightly tinted lenses that, he said, "make you look cleaner." The JINS men's mook Seiketsugan no Shin Hōsoku ("The New Rules of a Clean Look") went on sale September 17.

The "Can You Get It Too?" Corner and the Pitfall of Over-Explaining

Listeners submit funny personal experiences; Gaku tries to relate, and if he can't, he makes excuses.

- **Clothes already dried**: Someone tossed laundry into the machine mid-cycle only to find it had already finished drying—out came stiff, musty cloth. Gaku immediately got it. "The old me wouldn't have understood. I've grown," he laughed. - **Tsukkomi for a Dangerous Grandpa**: The line "What are you doing, grandpa?" delivered as a straight comedy retort looked, in context, like dementia caregiving—and that made it sad. Gaku agreed: "It feels like a real tsukkomi, not a joke. I get it." - **School cafeteria meal tickets**: Takeout noodles and eat-in noodles were labeled in katakana in a way that resembled the username of a notorious "playboy type" you'd encounter on Twitter. Gaku burst out laughing. - **The class president and graduation rehearsal**: The narrator tried to slip out of rehearsal; the class president caught them in the building hallway and held them back. On the day of the actual ceremony, the president cried twice after making the same mistake. The story itself was clear—but the parenthetical note the listener appended, "If I had taken the practice seriously, the time and effort she spent on me could have gone into her own preparation," threw both hosts into confusion. Was it a supplementary remark? An expression of guilt? They couldn't decide, and the debate continued well after the corner officially ended. "The explanation meant to clarify actually makes it less clear"—they agreed that very structure was funny enough to become the basis of a new corner game.