◆282【本編】聞いてるか蓮見

Hook and Opening

The episode opened with a listener hook from 'Metro Napoleon Museum': 'Denkōsekka-chan, I figured it out' — delivered in the Kansai dialect style of Daiyan's Katakane Yūsuke, though the hosts self-assessed it as 'weak' and 'not very smooth.' Another hook from listener 'Hada ka Otoko' — 'Moriyama Naotarō attending a birth' — also got a read. The show is still taking hook submissions.

Recording had to wrap quickly that day because the hosts had a Nagoya location shoot to catch five minutes after the session ended. They warned listeners upfront: 'We'll be talking fast.'

The Hasumi 'Battle' Winds Down — and King of Conte Hopes

The main talking point was that the public feud with Hasumi (蓮見) had effectively ended. Hasumi went on radio and declared that keeping the bit going would only reduce him to a punching bag for people like Shinku Jessica, drawing the curtain himself. The hosts said they would have liked the fun to last longer.

That said, they floated the hope that Hasumi might slip phrases such as 'so shocking my hips gave out' into a rap during the King of Conte (KOC) opening ceremony. Footage of Yadan already running has reportedly been confirmed, making his appearance almost certain; if there is a rap, that phrase is expected to be woven in. Anticipation was also expressed for dialogue-heavy sketches in the vein of Rahmens, and for a 'Laugh Monogatari'-style narrative arc.

Tokyo 03's Iizuka Crashes the Hokkaido Sapporo Cultural Festival

Shinku Jessica reported on a cultural festival in Hokkaido's Sapporo they attended alongside Orera, Ebi Calendar, and Tokyo 03. Iizuka (飯塚) turned up with what the hosts described as a princess attitude — essentially curious to see what the young comics were doing — and, they joked, ended up taking a big slice of what would otherwise have gone to the younger performers.

Iizuka had sent a photograph of the desk size ahead of time, yet the table provided on the day was too large. When a student said 'It was hard to tell from the photo, wasn't it?', Iizuka was about to let it slide with 'I suppose so' — triggering a tense 'Apologise properly!' moment from those around him. The right-sized desk was eventually tracked down and the show went ahead without further incident.

It also came out that Iizuka had watched Shinku Jessica's Crayon Shin-chan impression and found it 'a little unsatisfying.' Hasumi, hearing this second-hand, reportedly fired back on radio: 'If someone says that to you, don't just pass it along — fight back yourself.' The hosts praised the comeback as 'too good a retort.'

Itō Shirō's 90th-Birthday Retirement Announcement Sparks a Debate

Veteran comedian Itō Shirō (伊東四朗) announced he would retire on his 90th birthday, prompting a broader discussion about when comedians should call it quits. One view offered: the industry tends to cultivate a 'die at your post' atmosphere, but retiring early — say at 60, leaning into old age ahead of schedule — and spending the remaining years richly might actually be the happier path. The counter-argument: an early retirement just brings the farewell tributes sooner; it doesn't add time, it subtracts fun. The conversation also touched on the practical need to earn enough to sustain life after retirement.

The thread drifted to the topic of comedians who seem to age faster than their years. Masanori-san, said to be around 55, was cited as someone who looks and acts like a person in their 70s — 'ageing the way people did 50 years ago.' The sardonic conclusion: he'll retire early, get his gratitude early. Nozawa Masako was also briefly mentioned — 'energetic in a French way, but, if you look carefully, she has the appearance of an elderly woman' — as another case of a mismatch between apparent and actual age.

JINS Collaboration Ōgiri: 'This Dentist Has Style — Why?'

The eyewear brand JINS sponsored this segment. Selected answers:

- 'After checking your gums, they bow to you through the tiny mirror.' (Sorette) - 'After going Watchiiing for cavities and Basshiiing a hole-ridden tooth, they say Go-go-go… and escort you to the waiting room.' (Shinzō kara Login Bonus ga Todokimashita) → **Ome ni Kanatta prize winner — Amazon gift card, 3,000 yen** - 'When scheduling the next appointment, they say "Let's do it" instead of "Are you free?"' (Karu) - 'After treatment, they tell you a little anecdote, say "Smile — you've got beautiful teeth now," and hand you a hand mirror.' (Shinshin Pan) - 'For children scared of treatment, they give Anpanman stickers; for adults scared of treatment, they give Nishino Kana stickers.' (Kyūri Daisukikko-chan) - 'They put tiny shoes on the extracted wisdom tooth before handing it back to you.' (Shinshin Pan)

Next week's prompt: 'An episode from a field trip to a Uso-ryoku Power Plant. A Uso-ryoku Power Plant is a power station that converts lies into energy.' (The full description is part of the prompt.)

'There Was a Time I Thought ○○' Corner

Listeners confessed old misconceptions:

- 'I thought a centre parting existed so that if one side caught fire it wouldn't spread to the other.' (Namae Make Karma) → Dismissed with: 'What kind of idiot isn't thinking about fire spreading?' - 'I thought Uchina time meant the time when miso was being pushy.' (Hedoro Mushi) → 'No one has ever thought that. You're lying.' - 'I thought the world's funniest elder kept the face they make when opening their eyes underwater even on land.' (Longest Ronge Champion) - 'When an RPG says "it's locked" after you examine a door, I thought: don't act like that's surprising.' (Tomodachi wa Iyaku) → 'Actually, walking straight in when it's unlocked without saying anything is the weird part.' - 'I thought a wrestling referee counting 1-2-3 while slapping the mat was because they wanted to flip the downed wrestler over like a menko card.' (Longest Ronge) → 'Don't underestimate us.'

The hosts closed the corner with the observation: 'These are starting to drift a bit.'