# お悩み解消コーナー「相談は踊る」

- Show: ジェーン・スー　生活は踊る
- Published: 2026-10-22
- Canonical: https://podc.club/en/episode/1630372322_5822b2206947.html
- Audio: https://pdst.fm/e/pscrb.fm/rss/p/traffic.megaphone.fm/TBS6919623350.mp3
- Source: Edited from a machine transcript of the first 30 minutes of the episode. Not an official summary.

Romane (ロマネさん), an elementary school teacher in his early thirties, wrote in to ask how to engage with children at a school where classroom collapses keep repeating — and how to come to terms with the feeling that he could always be doing more. Not being the homeroom teacher of the problem classes, he is unsure where his involvement should end. Jane Su (ジェーン・スー) and Ugajin (ウガジン) responded with candid thoughts on child psychology, the true meaning of a firm stance, and where personal responsibility should give way to professional boundaries.

## What this episode answers

### Why do children with problem behavior act the way they do?

They often come from difficult home environments. Elementary school children only know what has been done to them by their parents and siblings, so they imitate it — and the behavior frequently surfaces as a bid for adult attention, especially in the child at the center of the chaos.

### What is the difference between a resolute attitude and an intimidating one?

Intimidation means controlling through fear; being resolute means simply not catching the provocative 'ball' children throw at you. You don't need to scold anyone in front of the class — just not playing along is enough for children to learn that this isn't fun.

### What can a non-homeroom teacher specifically do when involved with a class experiencing classroom collapse?

Help the children who are struggling right in front of you, and maintain a consistent approach aligned with the homeroom teacher rather than taking the lead — if only the non-homeroom teacher is popular with students, it risks hurting the homeroom teacher.

### How do you make peace with the feeling that you could always be doing more?

Stop asking 'isn't there something else I could be doing?' and instead let 'what I can do is limited' sink in as a genuine conviction — school-wide classroom collapse is a management problem, not one any individual teacher can or should solve alone.

### What is the most important thing for building trust with children?

Consistency in a teacher's words and actions. Children are extraordinarily sensitive to adult contradictions, and repeated 'why was that okay before but not now?' moments breed intense frustration; predictable behavior earns their trust.

## Article

## The Consultation: A Teacher's Dilemma in a School Plagued by Classroom Collapse

Romane, a male elementary school teacher in his early thirties, wrote in about the situation at his school, where classroom collapses keep recurring. Some colleagues have quit outright; others have gone on medical leave. Romane is not the homeroom teacher of the classes with the most problem behavior, but he does interact with those children regularly. He stops them when they do something dangerous, tells them clearly when something is not acceptable, and tries to defuse tension with humor and topic changes. He is sometimes teased about his appearance or athletic ability, and handles it by joking back or calmly asking the children to stop.

His two questions were: "How can I say what needs to be said while still valuing my relationship with the children?" and "When I feel like I could be doing more despite my best efforts, where do I draw the line?" He has been seeking answers through novels, podcasts, conversations with his wife, and even Chappy — an AI chat service — but has yet to find resolution.

## Children's Cruelty — and What Lies Behind It

Jane Su reflected that the cruelest period of her own life was elementary school. Children at that age decide what they like and dislike on impulse, and they are at a stage where they genuinely think hurting others is funny. The fact that adults who behave this way are called "childish" is telling — it is literally what children do.

Su's read of the child at the center of the problem behavior was frank: that child cannot possibly be having a happy time at home. Elementary school children only know what has been done to them by their parents and siblings, and they have no choice but to imitate it and pass it on. They may be getting teased themselves, or they may be receiving no attention at all. The behavior frequently surfaces as a bid to attract adult attention. The children around the ringleader, meanwhile, often join in simply because they fear being targeted themselves, or because they find it entertaining.

## Children "See Everything" Adults Do

Su and Ugajin both agreed that as children they had closely observed their teachers. "That teacher always says this in situations like this," or "this teacher backs down when faced with a stronger teacher" — children notice far more than adults assume. They are remarkably sensitive to inconsistencies between how one teacher handles something and how another does, and those inconsistencies breed intense frustration.

If a child repeatedly encounters "why was it fine then but not now?", resentment accumulates. The flip side, Su said, is that a teacher who is consistent and predictable will find that children follow.

## "Resolute" Means Not Catching the Ball — Not Inspiring Fear

Su drew a clear line between a firm stance and an intimidating one. Intimidation is control through fear. Being resolute means not catching the provocative ball that children throw at you. A child who mocks a teacher in front of the class believes it will make them a hero. The most effective response is simply not to play along. There is no need to humiliate the child, and no need to shout in front of everyone — just decline to catch the ball, and the child gradually learns: "this isn't fun."

## From "I Could Do More" to "What I Can Do Is Limited"

This was the point Su pressed hardest. Rather than asking "isn't there something else I could be doing?", the essential shift is to let "what I can do is limited" sink in as a genuine conviction. Solving a school-wide classroom collapse single-handedly is impossible; that is a problem for management to address. Su was unequivocal: this is not a question of how you relate to people — it is a question of professional jurisdiction.

What Romane can do is help the children directly in front of him who are struggling, and support the homeroom teacher by maintaining a consistent, coordinated approach rather than stepping out in front. If only the non-homeroom teacher becomes popular with students, it risks hurting the homeroom teacher. In a situation where classroom collapse has already driven colleagues onto medical leave, Su's clearest message was this: not overloading yourself has to come first.

## Takeaways

- A resolute attitude is neither intimidation nor anger — it means refusing to catch the provocative 'ball' children throw, and that consistent non-reaction is itself what builds their trust.
- The child at the center of problem behavior is often dealing with difficulty at home and acting out as a bid for adult attention.
- Don't try to single-handedly solve a school-wide crisis — internalize 'what I can do is limited,' stay within your professional role, and above all do not take on more than you can carry.