# お悩み解消コーナー「相談は踊る」 - Show: ジェーン・スー　生活は踊る - Published: 2026-10-15 - Canonical: https://podc.club/en/episode/1630372322_32c6f66c39c2.html - Audio: https://pdst.fm/e/pscrb.fm/rss/p/traffic.megaphone.fm/TBS4035657486.mp3 - Source: Edited from a machine transcript of the first 30 minutes of the episode. Not an official summary. Kotatsumuri, a first-year high-school listener, wrote in about a fellow first-year manager in her boys' sports club who initially bonded with her over gossip about other girls — then abruptly stopped talking to her and redirected all attention to the senior managers. She asked Jane Sue (ジェーン・スー) what to do. Sue responded with her "Maneko theory" and a weather metaphor, framing the whole ordeal as an early lesson in the social education everyone eventually has to take. ## What this episode answers ### How should you manage the distance with someone you dislike when you have to share the same club for three years? Keep the bridge open but build an inner wall — don't let the other person cross into your emotional space. Not reacting to her moods is the single effective strategy for lasting all three years. ### What is the right way to handle someone who keeps bringing gossip to you? Don't engage; just respond with a neutral "Is that so?" and let it pass. Agreeing even once creates the risk that she will later tell others you were the one who said it. ### How do you keep your own composure when the other person suddenly turns cold on you? Treat her attitude like the weather: rain isn't your fault and you can't make it stop, so you don't take it to heart. The practice is to think "that's her problem" and keep it separate from your own. ### How often will you encounter this kind of "Maneko type" person in life going forward? According to Sue, you will meet this type — Maneko 2, Maneko 3, whole Maneko battalions — endlessly in adult life, appearing as seniors, bosses, and partners who try to control those around them through their moods; running into one in first-year high school is simply an early lesson. ### When you can't vent to anyone at school, how do you release the stress that keeps building up? Sue's suggestion is to ask your mother to listen to five minutes of Maneko complaints every day — no advice needed, just listen — and to keep saying "You're not wrong; she's the problem." ## Article ## The Consultation — Caught Between Two Managers Consultation number 3,012 came from Kotatsumuri (こたつむり), a first-year high-school listener who wrote in after her mother suggested she try asking Sue. She co-manages a boys' sports club with one other first-year manager. That girl frequently brings up gossip about students in her own class, but since Kotatsumuri doesn't know any of them, she can't really agree — she just offers a vague "Is that so?" and lets it drift by. The other girl isn't really her type, but because she loves the club and wants to stick with it for all three years, she has been making a genuine effort to get along. Then, without explanation, the other manager stopped talking to Kotatsumuri almost entirely and started directing all her attention toward the senior managers. When Kotatsumuri tries to start a conversation, she gets barely anything back. The frustration of "Why have I been trying so hard for this?" has been mounting alongside real hurt. Because venting to school friends risks it getting back to the girl, she has been swallowing it all — and she is now, in her own words, about to explode. She asked Sue what she would do in this situation. ## Sue's First Take — She's Already Doing the Right Things Sue opened with praise. Knowing at fifteen that talking to classmates risks a leak, and deflecting the gossip with a neutral "Is that so?" rather than joining in — both of those, Sue said, are genuinely correct instincts. Gossip, Sue explained, is something you do with people you truly trust, done thoroughly. Bonding over gossip with someone whose vibe doesn't match yours is a recipe for disaster: the moment you agree, that person can go and tell everyone that *you* were the one saying these things. Kotatsumuri has been protecting herself without fully realising it. ## The "Maneko" Theory — An Early Social Education Sue gave the other manager a nickname: "Maneko-chan." She described the pattern: get close using gossip, then pull away and go cold to recapture the other person's attention. This, Sue analysed, is a way of controlling those around you through your own mood. The hard truth, Sue said, is that this type — Maneko 2, Maneko 3, whole Maneko battalions — will appear over and over in adult life: as seniors, bosses, and partners who use their moods or conspicuously cosying up to someone else to dominate those around them. Sue announced she would love to "chase them around with a pair of ryokan slippers," which gives some measure of how maddening the type is. But running into one in first-year high school simply means "your lesson arrived a little early." It is not a sign that something is wrong with the world. ## The "Weather" Metaphor — Building an Inner Wall The central idea Sue offered was treating the other girl like the weather. You don't feel wounded when it rains, because you know it isn't your fault and there is nothing you can do to make it stop. Maneko-chan's attitude operates the same way: whether Kotatsumuri goes out of her way or not, Maneko-chan's interpretation of events will shift according to her own internal logic. The anger of "What did I even do?" is valid, Sue said — but the honest answer is nothing. It has nothing to do with you. In practical terms, Sue suggested imagining a bridge left open between them, but a wall built on your side so Maneko-chan can't come all the way in. Tearing the bridge down would cause a commotion on the far bank, so the bridge stays. But a fence goes up on your side. When something is said, the practice is to think "that's her problem" and refuse to let it become yours. ## What to Do Next — Keep Loving the Club Sue's most important piece of advice: never stop enjoying the club. She added that Maneko-chan probably won't last all three years, and that the senior managers almost certainly already know what kind of person she is. For an outlet, Sue suggested asking her mother to spend five minutes a day just listening to Maneko complaints — no advice, no commentary, just listen — and to keep repeating: "You're not wrong. She's the problem." Sue addressed mothers directly, asking them to be that person. She closed by saying: do not mistake the existence of people who irritate you for a flaw in how society is designed. Roughly eighty percent of social life consists of having to stay in the same space as people you would never choose. That is the default — but it is not cause for despair. And the fact that Kotatsumuri already knows she loves this club, Sue concluded, means "the trophy for her school years is already decided." ## Takeaways - Not reacting to the other person's shifting moods and refusing to change your own behaviour is the only reliable way to stay in the club for all three years. - The type who draws you close with gossip and then turns cold will appear again and again in adult life — what happened in first-year high school is simply an early social education. - Treating her attitude like the weather and building an inner wall so she cannot get in is what keeps your love for the club — and your own peace — intact.